Pure Raw Unfillfilled Bottled Emotion
For the last 60 days I’ve been dealing with covered up emotional unattended experiences.
Experiences to scary to feel when I was a young 12 year old boy.
The story starts in the outdoor play house.
My sister and I were bickering about some toy or whatever…
The same bickering I learned from my parents.
For a constant 15 – 20 minutes my father was cutting the grass.
How were we suppose to know he could hear us.
He was by the loud mower. :/
We heard the mower come closer to our house and then slam, door flies open, raging eye balls, grawling teeth, and hands grabbing me picking me up and slapping the shit out of my ass.
Then he let me down but the worst was yet to come…
Oh no, not Chelsey.
Grab’s her and slap, 1,2,3… NO STOP IT! STOP IT!!! DADD NOOOO! STOP HITTING HER!… 6,7, STOP HITTING HER RIGHT NOW.
But I didn’t… knock him out.
I don’t remember doing much but pushing him and crying…
That’s where my shame lies. That’s where my guilt rides me.
Come to think about it, a similar pattern has happened in other arise of my life where I didn’t stand up for who or what I believed in.
My belief has always led me to strong areas of truth.
It takes, Guts.
Guts are for glory.
Glory to God.